Friday, July 26, 2013

THE TURD BRAINED GUY

By Belarmino Dabalos Saguing, Friday 26.07.2013



I do not want to picture all Filipinos as a shithead. Unluckily, this kind of persons exist in abundance. Making public of my sentiments will sure earn me more enemies than friends. But about the stupidity of many of our conationals really abound.  You find them everywhere, and many times, they even advertise their utter moronness with their own word.

About twelve years ago, I lost my job just  after my first wife died, and went out of the apartment I was renting because I am no longer in pooition to pay the rent. So I went looking for a bed space to rest my back at night when I am tired. And there I met the paragons of stupidity.

There was this guy who was boasting how smart he was. He said “When I was in University, I used to chise4l my parent for extra money by telling them I need a couple of thousand to buy subjects and predicates so I could pass the final exams”. I asked if he was able to pass any course, he just laughed and told me “Hell no! I just transferred from one university to another. I studied in seven universities and finished nothing.” He wernt on telling me that when his parents went to the city to see him graduate. (The hapless parents really believed that their genius of a son was really graduating at the end of expected five year course.) But they found their dear son stoned drunk in the boarding house. It was then that they found they have been duped by their own son for tend of thousands of real money to finance his non-existing education.

The stories differ only in details, but he was not alone in that house. There was this guy who fondly tell of his school years adventures. He was saying how he wooed his girl friend telling her how rich his partents are, how much parcels of land they owned, and to prove it, he used to bring the girl to spending spree around the city, and presto! The girl was mesmerized and went with him to a hotel. All at the expense of his poor parents who literally broke their backs toiling aty the fields to finance his escapades. The results are the same with the first one.
There are the third and the fourth, but it will be a fatigue to tell them as their stories are the same.

I scaped from that house before my mind exploded. My diligence was rewarded, I finally found another job after a few months.

A few years back, I took a two-month leave to bury my mother who died. One evening, after a sweltering day, I went to a beer house to rest for a while. The joint was full of all kind of people. I found a table just emptied in the VIP room because there was no vacant table in the more public section. My table was next to one occupied b a group of loud middle-aged roosters and their partners. One of them, who seems to be giving a blow out to his friends was telling them his story.

“I don’t need a job because my son is an OFW and makes plenty of money abroad. He works his ass off to support my worthless, lazy carcass. Lucky for me that he believed all the lies I told him that it was his duty to support me after finding work. Ha! What an idiot, just like me. He’s slaving away right now overseas while I’m lazing in this hammock. You gotta love it. Sometimes I have to reinforce the conditioning when the payments drop off a bit. Usually I just make some shit up like ‘Mother needs medicine’ or ‘Sis needs to buy expensive text books.’ Works like a charm every time.”

 What a moron!



One of them, not to be overdone, gave this yarn:

”I love to drink Red Horse and sing karaoke at ear-splitting decibels. I can’t sing but nobody care. It’s loud and Filipinos are all noise-loving idiots. I love noise because I hate to think – it’s hard. Noise solves that problem by making it impossible to think. So I crank up the volume and erase thought altogether – works fine for me. Besides, I have to have SOMETHING to fill that vacancy between my ears! Noise pollution does it just fine!”

I have to beat a hasty retreat.


I arrived home still musing how unlucky we OFWs are if we have this rooter as brother, or father.  There will be no point at all for us to be abroad. 

Then, I realized that these people are also voters! No wonder why we have this insane political order in the country! Imbeciles are being elected by turd-head voters! Or perhaps, not imbecile politicians. Perhaps we could say ‘smart’ politicians. Many of the people who engage in politics has something more than public service in their mind: Money! Lots of money!!! And they know their people. They know they could get qaway with whatever crookery  because the voters are morons. They would even vote for a baby as national president if he has a popular name!



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